Myth of the Lone Ranger

or Why can’t I do it alone?

One of the myths we are subject to, particularly guys, is that of the Solo Hero. He overcomes all obstacles and challenges by individual endeavour and persistence, not needing, wanting or asking for help - exemplified by the image of the Lone Ranger.

Like all misleading myths, it contains some truth. There is a time when we all need to face up to a tough situation and exercise will-power to deal with it. However, investigating, preparing and checking are necessary to prevent foolhardy impulses.

There is little doubt that the true Lone Ranger would have spent a lot of time talking to a lot of people to get the full picture before he pulled out his guns and started firing. Unfortunately that does not make for the action film footage required for the average Western.

The truth is that most people who achieve anything much in life do ask for and take advice. The question is whose advice can you trust?

Today we have a lot of people claiming to offer good advice. Some of it is free and comes from people who have never achieved much themselves. Many of these people are to be found sitting in pubs, some may be family members and some may be paid by the Government.

The other group are people who claim to be Experts of some sort and offer their advice and help in return for payment, sometimes large payment. These are Counsellors, Therapists, Coaches and Mentors of all sorts and descriptions.

How would you know if they are any good or whether they are worth the money they charge? How would you know if they could do anything for you?

The first thing to do is to get some idea of the differences between these terms.

Counsellors: This group are largely concerned with deep emotional issues which are dominating a person’s life, such as bereavement or severe emotional experience. Much of what can be done is based on listening while the person talks about their issue and gradually re-frames it in their own mind. A crucial determinant is whether anything can be done to change the situation. Marriage Counsellors are a variety which may be able to bring about a change in an existing situation.

Therapists are trained in one or several therapeutic practices. They offer their services to treat a variety of ailments and conditions, including stress and anxiety. However, neither you nor they know beforehand if what they can offer will handle your particular condition. Their advice is largely based on guidance on what to do to avoid the condition recurring.

Coaches: There is a new and growing industry which trains people who want to help others to become ‘Coaches’. This has resulted in a large number of people offering themselves as all sorts of Life Coaches. At its best Coaching is ‘solution focussed'. It helps people to look at various solutions to their problems and take appropriate action. Coaching is primarily concerned ‘Helping people to focus their attention possibilities and solutions, rather than problems’.

Mentors: In modern times this means a guide who helps someone else to make a journey which is in some ways at least similar to one the Mentor has already made. A clear example is that Richard Branson had Freddie Laker of Laker Airways as his mentor when he way setting up Virgin Atlantic. A Mentor will focus on overall direction and long term strategy rather than focussing on immediate problems.

For more information on these different sorts of advice and help, read our extended articles how to choose and lists of recommended practitioners in our Membership area. Also read testimonials from people who have benefited from these services. Click here