Who’s looking after you?

Many people today complain of being so short of time that they can’t stop long enough to examine the reality of their situation or do anything about it.

It is not just that they are busy in their work but the same stress feelings extend into their domestic life and even what leisure they allow themselves.

People in this situation often let their work dominate their lives and take it home with them. In our present economic climate challenging business situations and job insecurity mean that people feel they need to let their work invade their officially non-working time.

This can cause friction in relationships because one partner is seen as giving more time to their work than the relationship. As the relationship deteriorates, the working partner can find themselves working even longer hours to allay the continuing stress they feel under.

Children pick up on this tension and it makes them feel less secure. They can become more demanding for attention in order to offset their feelings of insecurity.

Parents and other relatives may be making claims for time and attention. Sometimes they may use a bit of ‘emotional blackmail’ to get their needs met.

Their can be other demands which fall on people in these situations. Parents and other relatives may be making claims for time and attention. Sometimes they may use a bit of ‘emotional blackmail’ to get their needs met.

Similar demands are sometimes made by so-called ‘friends’ who are looking for somewhere to do some emotional off-loading. This is usually covered by requests for help or advice. It takes great strength to refuse these pleas, even though the help or advice given rarely makes any real difference.

Then there are the domestic demands of running a house, feeding a family and dealing with a multitude administrative and bureaucratic demands which come through the door and computer.

All this leads to extreme tiredness and often exhaustion which has health consequences. Many people in this situation relieve the stress and tension they are under with alcohol, nicotine or other diversions. These are of course only temporary in their relief and do not provide any solution.

The common thread in all these stress creating situations is putting the needs of others first. Whether it is looking after work, partner, children, relatives, friends or the home, all of your waking time can be taken up and there is none left for yourself.

This perceived need to look after others first leads to the inevitable neglect of self. If you ask who will help you, very likely none of those who you helped will be of any real use.

There is unfortunately only one answer. The only person who will look after you is YOU!

It is of course much easier said than done. There can be emotional and psychological reasons why you have allowed youself to get into this situation.

What our Members have found is that once they start looking after themself the stressful challenges and demands made upon you start to shrink to more manageable proportions and even eventually disappear.

In our Members section we give practical help and guidance on how to bring about change which will enable you start looking after you.